蕾切尔的婚礼RachelGettingMarried英文剧本IwantmyfuckingZipponow.Walter,thatisabehaviorthatwillgetyou...Fuckyou!(CELLPHONERINGING)Areyoumakingachoice?(CHUCKLES)Holdon.Hello?Don'tyougetityet,Waldo?She'smakingachoicenottogiveyouyourlighterbecauseyou'lltorchtheself-helplibraryagain.Myname'sWalter.Didyoukillanybodyrecently?Didyourunanybodyoverwithyourfuckingcar?Isthatthem?Yeah.Yes,finally.You'renotgoingtoletherdrive,areyou?Walter,youareonlyresponsibleforyourself.Thisallyourstuff?Yeah.Soyounevergavemeyourcellphonenumber.Itwasamistake.I'mluckyIdidn'tgetfired.We'vediscussedthis.Hey.Hereyouare.(SIGHING)Ithoughtyouweregoingtoabandonmeinrehab.(CHUCKLING)No.-It's10:30.You'rehalfanhourlate.Iwasjuststandingoutherewiththeselunatics.Oh,myGod,youlooksogreat.Sodoyou,darling.CanItakecareofthat?Hi,PaulBuchman.Rosa.Wemetlasttimeyoucameup.Yes,hi.Goodtoseeyouagain.-Hi.Okay,let'sgo.Let'sgo.Allright.Sure.-Great.Um...Goodlucktoyou.Thankyou.Kym.Goodlucktoyou.Thankyou.Allright.Hey,whereiseverybody?Hey,Carol.-Hello,Kym.Whereiseverybody?Where'sRachel?Oh,she'sbackatthehousegettingready.PAUL:Thereissomuchgoingonatthehouse,Icannottellyou,dear.Andyouknowyoursister'sdoingeverythingherself.Mysister'sbendingtheenvironmenttoherwill?Really?There'snoweddingplannersoranythinglikethat.It'sjustherandSidneyandawholelotoftheirfriends.Andsheissothrilledthatyou'recominghome.Great.Now,dowehaveeverything?Yeah.Yeah,yeah.Canwejustgo?Istheresomebodythat...Anybodyyouneedtosaygoodbyeto?God,no.Soarealloftheseenergetic,youngweddinghelpersstayingatthehouse?Becauseafterninemonthsofconstantlyrevolvingcellmatesandcrazypeopleand...Youweren'tinacell,Kym.What?Iwassortoflookingforwardtoalittleprivacyforonce.TheonlyextrapersonatthehouseisEmma.Oh,oh!RachelandEmma.-Yes.GoodGod,howrelaxing.(ALLLAUGHING)TheonlytwopeopleontheplanetlesscapableofdelegatingthanHannibal.Ontheeveofawedding.Oh!Nachtmahr.Nachtmahr?Nachtmahr.Youdon'tknowNachtmahr?Nachtmahrwasanightmaresobadit'sinGerman.CAROL:Isee.Rachelmustbe,like,totallyfreakingout.Isshetootense?Areallofherlatentfoodissuesrearingtheirheads?IsshestillhoardingSnickersandCoolWhipunderthebedlikewhenshewasinhighschool?Sheneverdidputthatonetorest.Idon'tthinkthat'saproblemforher,darling.Nooffense,Dad,butyouneverthoughtthatwasaproblemforher.SoI'mreallylookingforwardtoseeingMom.You'llseeyourmomtonightandAndrewattherehearsaldinner.Well,maybeI'llheadoverthere,toherhouse,afterIseeRachel.Well,Idon'tknow.Canwepullover,please?I'msorry,Ifeelnauseous,andIneedsomethingtodrink.CAROL:IhaveaDietCokeforyou.IpreferPepsifromthefountain.Hey,didn'tIseeyouonCops?Olive.KYM:Hey,there'sOlive.PAUL:Rentedchairs,tribesofpeople.Yep.(SIGHS)Hey,Dad,don'tworryaboutit.I'llgetit.PAUL:Gotit.(MENCHATTERING)PAUL:Hi,gentlemen.Hello.(PEOPLECHATTERING)Anyway,I'msorry.Ijustsawaghost.(CONTINUESCHATTERING)EMMA:Isthistooshort?Oh,myGod!Youarejustminute!Kymmie!Oh!Ow!Sorry,sorry,sorry,sorry,sorry.Ihavepinsalloverme.Yeah,Icanfeel.Kym,couldyounotsmokeinhere,please?Youlookgreat.-Oh,no,I'msofat.Well,rehabmakesyoufat.It'sallthevendingmachines.No,stopit.-No,you!IwouldsweartoGodthatyouwerepukingagain.EMMA:Hi,Kym.-Hi,Emma.Seriously,you'resotiny,it'slikeyou'reAsian.(BOTHLAUGH)(EXCLAIMS)Sowhat'sthedeal?Areyouanactualshrinkyet?Eventhoughyou'relike12yearsold.Rachel'stakingpsychology,notpsychiatry.Youknowthedifference,right?Youshouldprescribesomethingsoothingf...
