杜伦大学演讲稿thankyou,presidentcowan,mrs.presidentcowen;distinguishedguests,undistinguishedguestsaluminialumisireally,ihadnoambition,ididn'tknowwhatiwantedtodo.idideverythingfrom"andi'mgonnabethefirstwomaninthehistoryoftheshowtobecalledovertositdown."我开始写作,心里涌出一段我和上帝的对话,虽然只是我一个人的独白,写完了之后我阅读了这个剧本,对自己说,我还没有做过脱口秀,那里没有夜总会,我对自己说要在“今夜秀”上与强尼卡森一起表演这一段,强尼卡森是当时天王级人物,我对自己说我要成为该节目史上第一个被邀请的女性,andseveralyearslater,iwasthefirstwomaninthehistoryoftheshow,andonlywomaninthehistoryoftheshowtositdown,becauseofthatphoneconversationwithgodthatiwrote.andistartedthispathofstand-upanditwassuccessfulanditwasgreat,butitwashard,becauseiwastryingtopleaseeverybodyandihadthissecretthatiwaskeeping,thatiwasgay.andithoughtifpeoplefoundouttheywouldn'tlikeme,theywouldn'tlaughatme.数年之后,我成为这个节目史上第一位也是唯一一位被邀请参与的女性,就因为那段我写的与上帝对话的己剧本,从此我开始做单人脱口秀,做得很成功,也很辛苦,因为我想讨好每一个人,同时又不让知道我是同性恋的秘密,我想要是别人发现了,就不会喜欢我了,就不会笑我了。thenmycareerturnedintothiswasback,manyyearsago-andifinallydecidedthatiwaslivingwithsomuchshame,andsomuchfear,thatijustcouldn'tlivethatwayanymore,andidecidedtocomeoutandmakeitcreative.后来我又有了自己的情景喜剧,也很成功,更进一步的成功,我于是更担心被别人担心是同性恋后怎么办,而且当时是很久很久以前,那是只有白人当总统的年代,好久好久以前。最终我还是决定,与其一直带着耻辱和恐惧生活,不如对这种生活就此做个了结,于是我决定用创第1页共5页意的方式,让剧中的主角和我自己同时出柜,andmycharacterwouldcomeoutatthesametime,anditwasn'ttomakeapoliticalstatement,itwasn'ttodoanythingotherthantofreemyselfupfromthisheavinessthatiwascarryingaround,andijustwantedtobehonest.andithought,"what'stheworstthatcouldhappen。icanlosemycareer".idid.ilostmycareer.theshowwascancelledaftersixyears,withouteventellingme,ireaditinthepaper.thephonedidn'tringforthreeyears.ihadnooffers.不是为了什么政治原因和其它,只是为了让我自己从背负已久的学生枷锁中释放出来,我只是想做真我,我想,“最坏的结果是什么。我可能会失去我的演艺事业”。结果我失业了。我失去了我的事业,我的节目在做了6年后停播了,竟然没有人通知我,我在报纸上才看到这一消息,家里的电话三年都没有响起过,没人找我做节目。nobodywantedtotouchmeatall.yet,iwasgettinglettersfromkidsthatalmostcommittedsuicide,butdidn't,becauseofwhatidid.andirealisedthatihadapurpose.anditwasn'tjustaboutmeanditwasn'taboutcelebrity,butifeltlikeiwasbeingpunished...itwasabadtime,iwasangry,iwassad,andtheniwasofferedatalkshow.andthepeoplethatofferedmethetalkshowtriedtosellit.andmoststationsdidn'twanttopickitup.mostpeopledidn'twanttobuyitbecausetheythoughtnobodywouldwatchme.没有人愿意启用我。然后我却一直收到想要自杀的同性恋孩子给我的来信,他们因为我的出现而没有自杀,我这才感到,我在这个世上是有意义的,不是因为我,也不是因为名声,但我觉得自己好像是受了惩罚一样,那是一段痛苦的日子,我很愤世嫉俗,很难过。后来有人找我做脱口秀,找我做节目的制作公司努力推销我的节目,然而大多数电视台都不愿意买,他们都不愿意买,因为他们以为没有人会想看我的节目。reallywhenilookbackonit,iwouldn'tchangeathing.imean,itwassoimportantformetoloseeverythingbecauseifoundoutwhatthemostimportantthingis,istobetruetoyourself.ulti第2页共5页mately,that'swhat'sgottenmetothisplac...