Chapter 17

Chapter 17 A WEEK passed, and no news arrived of Mr Rochester: ten days, and still he did not come. Mrs Fairfax said she should not be surprised if he were to go straight from the Leas to London, and thence to the Continent, and not show his face again at Thornfield for a year to come; he had not infrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and unexpected. When I heard this, I was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the heart. I was actually permitting myself to experience a sickening sense of disappointment; but rallying my wits, and recollecting my principles, I at once called my sensations to order; and it was wonderful how I got over the temporary blunder — how I cleared up the mistake of supposing Mr Rochester's movements a matter in which I had any cause to take a vital interest. Not that I humbled myself by a slavish notion of inferiority: on the contrary, I just said — 'You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield, further than to receive the salary he gives you for teaching his protegee and to be grateful for such respectful and kind treatment, as if you do your duty, you have a right to expect at his hands. Be sure that this is the only tie he seriously acknowledges between you and him; so don't make him the object of your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies, and so forth. He is not of your order: keep to your caste, and be too self-respecting to lavish the love of the whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised.' I went on with my day's business tranquilly; but ever and anon vague suggestions kept wandering across my brain, of reasons why I should quit Thornfield; and I k...