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Arosebyanyothername?I'veseenFireandI'veseenRain.IknowSunny,andIoncetutoredEverlasting.I'veevenmetEverlast.WhenIcametoChinafiveyearsago,IwassurprisedandoftenamusedbytheEnglishnamesadoptedbytheChinesepeopleImet.FireandRainandSunnywerepost-doctoralstudents,andthosenamesareoldhatnow.Myroommateteaches5-and6-year-olds,andtheirnamesaremuchhipper,includingJuicyandiPod.MyfriendRipplesaysherEnglishnameisaliteraltranslationofherChinesename,Lianyi.OtherfriendshavenamesthatsoundsomethingliketheirChinesenames,iftheychosenottopluckonefromliteratureorotherinterests.Jefferson?Kawasaki?TattooMama?Jennifer?(yes,thatwouldbetheFriendsstar.)Iknowthemall.ThefactthateveryChineseperson-atleastthepost'80s-hasanEnglishnameoftenmakesexpatswonderiftheyshould"get"aChinesename.Shouldn'tsuchcross-culturalassimilationworkbothways?Manyadoptednames,onbothsides,aretransliterations-wordsthatsoundclosetothefirstlanguage.Thus,thefirstChinesenameIevergotwas"My-kuh",whichtomyuntrainedearsoundedlikeacrossbetweencoughingandspitting.AfterI'dbeeninChinaforafewmonths,Iwantedsomethingthatwouldtwinemorewithmyidentitythanabronchialoutburst.Ididn'twanttosnatchthemonikerofaready-madehero-Icouldn'timagebeingaddressedasYat-sen-andImorereluctantlypassedovertheChinesenamesofthemost-famousmartialartistsaswell.MyfriendBillsolicitedamutualfriendtocraftaChinesenameforhim,andtheresultturnsouttomean"MightyOakWhoGlaresFearlesslyatLightning."Imadethemistakeofaskingthreefriendsforideas,thinkingitwouldbeinterestingtowriteaboutthedifferentwaystheyapproachedit.One,thecoinerof"MightyOak",cameupwiththeequivalentof"EarnestEditor"forme.Hmm.MyChineseroommateoffered:Pei,thefirstcharacter,is"averygoodsurname"that'sevocativeof"Peters".You,thesecondcharacter,means"friendly"(asinpengyou).Cheng,thethirdcharacter,means"sincere".AthirdfriendtackledtheproblemwithhermateduringatrainridetoQufuinShandongprovince.DuringtheirvisittothehometownofConfuciustheyweresoinspiredthattheytooktheirchosennameformeandhaditetchedintoaChinesechopoflocalstonewithConfuciansignificanceandpresentedittomewiththerequisitepadofredink.Clearlythechoicehadbeenmadeforme.Theproblem,ofcourse,isthatyoudon'taskthreepeopleto"nameyou".Gettinganamefromyourlanguageteacher,forexample,whetherthatlanguageisChineseorEnglish,isthesocialequivalentofbeingnamedbyyourparents.MyfriendHoover,forexample,wasshockedwhenIsuggestedhemightchangethattosomethingthatwillnotmakepeoplethinkofavacuumcleaneroramuchmalignedformerUSpresident.Hewasn'tamusedwhenIsuggestedwecouldthinkofsomethingthatdidn'tsuck."MyEnglishteachergavethatnametome,"hesaid,asifI'dsuggestedswappinghismotherforanewermodel.Sotoavoidthesocialcrimeofrejectingtwoofthenames,IneveradoptedanyofthethreeI'daskedfor-thoughI'vecarefullytuckedawaytheConfucianchopaswellasthesatisfactionofbeing"Earnest"and"Sincere"ifnota"MightyOak.""My-Kuh"nowworksformeprettywell.And,itturnsout,it'swhatmostpeoplearegoingtocallmeanyway.