[2025 演讲稿]美国最佳毕业典礼致辞——Ellen Lee DeGeneres艾伦 李 德杰尼勒斯(ellen lee degeneres，1958 年 1 月 26 日-)是一位美国演员及单口相声喜剧演员(stand-upcomedian)，现在她主持脱口秀节目 艾伦 德杰尼勒斯秀 (theellen degeneres show)及在 美国偶像 (americanidol)第九季担任评审。曾主持第 79 届奥斯卡金像奖，亦曾多次凭 艾伦 德杰尼勒斯秀 获得艾美奖。 美国最佳毕业典礼致辞 ellen lee degeneres thankyou, president cowan, mrs. president cowen; distinguished guests,undistinguished guests - you know who you are, honored faculty and creepyspanish teacher. and thank you to all the graduating class of XX, i realizemost of you are hungover and have splitting headaches and haven't slept sincefat tuesday, but you can't graduate 'til i finish, so listen up. when i wasasked to make the commencement speech, i immediately said yes. then i went tolook up what commencement meant. which would have been easy if i had adictionary, but most of the books in our house are portia's, and they're allwritten in australian. so i had to break the word down myself, to find out themeaning. commencement: common, and cement. common cement. you commonly seecement on sidewalks. sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, youbreak your mother's back. so there's that. but i'm honored that you've asked mehere to speak at your common cement. i thought that you had to be a famousalumnus - alumini - aluminum - alumis - you had to graduate from this school.and i didn't go to college here, and i don't know if president cowan knows, ididn't go to any college at all. any college. and i'm not saying you wastedyour time, or money, but look at me, i m a huge celebrity. although i didgraduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers. i sp...
