AmericanTableMannersTheRoleofManners?ThereisnotmuchcallforacompleteworkingknowledgeoftablemannersinAmericatoday.Manyfamiliesonlygatherallatoncearoundthedinnertableatholidayfeasts,andmostrestaurantsaretoocasualtorequire,oreventoallowfor,morethanbasicgoodtablemanners.If,havingdroppedhisnapkin,adineratabistroweretoattempttopracticeproperetiquettebysignalingamemberofthestafftobringafreshone,hewouldprobablyhavetodowithoutanapkinatall.Tryashemighttomakeeyecontactandindicatethenatureoftheproblemwithasubtlewiggleoftheeyebrowanddownwardflickeroftheglance,heislikelytosucceedonlyincausinghisdatetothinkheismakingaplayfortheserver.Althoughstrictgoodmannersforbidplacingausedeatingutensilbackonthetable,theserverremovingaplateonwhichaforkhasquiteproperlybeenpositioned"pointingat11o'clock"mightjustplopthatitembackwhereitstarted,makingmoreofaclatterthanifthedinerhadsimplydoneitherself.Fromtimetotime--perhapsatanimportantbusinessdinner,aromanticdateatanexpensiverestaurant,orafirstdinnerwiththefamilyofthepersonwhomaybe"theOne"--itisnecessarytodisplayamoresophisticatedknowledgeoftableetiquette.Thisisnotdifficult,onceyouhavemasteredthebasics.Anyonearmedwiththiscoreknowledgeandtheabilitytoadaptsmoothlytothesituationathandwillbeabletohandleeventhemostformalevent.Thegoalisnot,afterall,todemonstrateuttermasteryofthemostarcanedetailsofetiquette(whichwouldbequitedifficultconsideringthewidevariationsofcustomsindifferentculturesandfromgenerationtogeneration),butrathertobehavewithgraciousnessandpoiseatthetable.MasteringtheBasicsMuchofthedifficultyencounteredinlearningtablemannersderivesfromthestruggletomastertheritualhandlingofthevarioustoolsinvolved.Inordertodisplaytherightsocialveneer,itisnecessarytositatthetablewitheleganteaseandwieldtheutensilswithaplomb.Thedinerwholeavesthenapkinfoldedonhisplateuntilitobstructstheplacementofhisappetizerplaterevealshislackoftraining.Thedinnerpartyguestwhoobserveswithdismaythearrayofflatwareoneithersideofherplate,needonlytakethetimetolearnthesimplesecrettotheplan.Thereare,ofcourse,afewtipsandpitfallstobeawareof,aswellastheoccasionalsurprisingitemyoucaneatwithyourhands.Hereisaquickguidewhichwillhelpsteeryouthrougheventhemostformalofoccasions.
