TheImportanceofFirstImpressionsCarefullyloweryourpaperandletyoureyesfalluponthefirstpersonyousee.What'syourfirstimpression?Posh,picky,yuckyoryummy?(Lookinginthemirrorisnotallowed.)Ifyoudon'talreadyknowtheperson-that'dbecheating-thenhowhaveyoucometoyourconclusions?Aforensicabilitytoscrutinizeapersonmaybeatalentyouhold,oryoucouldjustbeliketherestofus,andlookathowsomeoneisdressed.Wealldoit,howeversubconsciously;yetfashionisnevergiventhecredititdeservesforbeingaspowerfulasitis.It'sinvariablyregardedasasilly,butnecessary,vanity.Nopoliticalpartyeverhas"Clothes:whytheymatter"onitsmanifesto;theheavyweightmindsoftheworldrarelyturntointerpretitssemaphore(naturally,Iamtheexception).Butfashionisactuallyawonderforce,an"invention"moreusefulthanradio,morecapableofalteringmoodonasixpencethanalcohol,drugsandmusiccombined(asanymanwhohashadtowaitwhilehispartnerrefusestocomeoutofthebedroombecause"nothingfits"willtestify).Wenotonlyjudgeothers,butweallowwhatwe'rewearingtodictatehowweourselvesbehave:I'mstillinmypajamasat2pm,Imustbeaslob;Ihavefoundtheperfectpairoftrousers,allisrightwiththeworld.LastweekGQlauncheditsbest-dressed-menlist.Myfirstreactionwasasnortofderision.PossiblybecauseIdidn'tagreewiththenumberone-RioFerdinand(nomanwhowearshiscollarupcanevertrulyberegardedaswelldressed);orperhapsbecauseIthinktheselistsshouldberenamed"best-dressedfamouspeople";ormaybeitisbecauseGQisalwayssuchadisappointmentasamen'smagazine-waytoomuchanalysis,notenoughpicturesofgreased-upwomenwiththeirarmsabovetheirhead.SuchlistsarefurtherannoyingbecausetheywillneveracknowledgethatmyParisian-by-abodeuncle,Vittorio,isthemoststylishmanonearth.Heinventedthetone-on-tonelook(shirt,suit,tie,socks,sometimesevenshoes,thesamecolor)nowcopiedbymenofstylepartout.MyunclewaswearingChristianDioryearsbeforeitgot"trendy"-infactwhenthelabelwasbeingrailedagainstbySirStaffordCripps,thepresidentoftheBritishBoardofTradeatthetimeofthe"newlook"afterthewar,forbeingwasteful.Andnomen'smagazinehadtotellmyunclethatyoudidn'thavetobegaytowearcashmere.However,whenI'dfinishedsnorting,Irealizedthatitwasgoodthatdressingwellwas,foronce,beingcelebrated.Whyitisthatfashionisgenerallyregardedassounimportantandflippant?Weclearlyregardfashionasashamefulmistress,forwedenyherconstantly."InevertellpeoplewhatIdo,"afashioneditoroncesaid,"becauseafterthatIcan'tcommentonanythingelsewithoutthemthinking'Yesdear',yetwhenpeoplefindout,theconversationalwaysturnsroundtofashion,andeveryonetwitchesuncomfortably."Isecondthis,havingoncebroughtahigh-levelpoliticaldinnertoastandstillbyintroducingthesubjectofmen'sunderpants,specificallyboxer’svothertypes.Ilefttwohourslaterwithalltalkofthethirdwayforgotten,butthephrase"anymanwhosaysboxershortsarecomfortableisaliar"ringingamongthewoodpaneling.Clothesaremoreimportant,atleastinitially,thaneducation,wherewelive,whatwedrive,howwevote,ourreligion.Idon'tmeanhavingthelatestthing-fashionhasatrivialsidethatmustberegularlyridiculed-Imeanasameansoflookingatandjudgingaperson;because,unlessyouarevisuallyimpaired,wealldothistosomeextent.Anthropologistscallittribalidentification.Welookforidentifiersthatmakeusthinkapersonis"allright"(thesuit)orpossibly"athreat"(hoodedtop,fatgirlwithmidriffonshowandalookofloveinhereye).Ifwedon'tlookright,wemaynevergetthechancetoshowakeenwitandcohesionofthoughtastautasoneofDeirdreBarlow'sneckveins.Butifwedolookright,lackofthesecanbeoverlooked-whydoyouthinkpoliticiansalwayswearsuits?Culturesthatseektoenforcebehaviorknowthatoneofthemosteffectivewaysistodictatewhatpeoplewear.Takethecollar-sillybitofannoyingfabricroundtheneck?For500yearsit'sbeenaprimewayforamantoshowhedoesn'tneedtowork,ergoisbetterthanhiscontemporaries.Whenhewasalive,CharlesDickenswasfrequentlyjudgednotonhisfinemind,buttheexcessspillofhistie-hefavoredthewaterfallcravat,whichhewouldbarelytamewithdiamondpins.Hewasdescribedasluxuriantandglossy(hehadgreathair)andabitofadandy.That'squiteatoddswithhowwethinkofhimtoday,throughhisrathersomber,sociallyawarewriting.Thankfully,oncewetrulygettoknowaperson,fashion'ssignalingisredundant.Butuntilthen...