老友记第一季第一集剧本

The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.] Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with! Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him! Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?（驼背还是秃头？） Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? (They all stare, bemused.) Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!（我不希望她走我和 Carl 的老路） Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex. Chandler: Sounds like a date to me. [Time Lapse] Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked. All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream. Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there. Joey: Instead of...? Chandler: That's right. Joey: Never had that dream. Phoebe: No. Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?! Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me! [Time Lapse, Ross has entered.] Ross: (mortified) Hi. Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. Monica: Are you okay, sweetie? Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...（我感觉一个人把手伸进我的喉咙，抓住我的小肠，将他从我嘴里拉出来缠在我的脖子上） Chandler: Cookie? Monica: (explaining to ...