Threevisitstothecottage主要人物:诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人(朱不亮)、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白(同时操作电脑)旁白:Threevisitstothecottage(中文名三顾茅庐)isastoryfromoneoftheFourGreatclassicalChinesenovels——theThreeKindoms.ZhuGeliangisoneofthemaincharactersintheoriginal.Also,heisanoutstandingmilitarist,politicianandthesymbolofthewisdominChinesehistory.Anothermainactors——Liubei,whovisitedZhuGeliang'sthatchedcottagethreetimesandwantedtoinvitehimtobehismilitaryadviser.Finally,ZhuGeliangwasmovedbyLiubei'sincerity,helpedthethreebrothers——Liubei,GuanyuandZhangfeitoestablishtheShuKindom.Now,let’sgointothestory.第一幕屋子中,诸葛亮在屋里走着,诸葛亮:Buliang,thisclassroomissodirty,猪不亮扫地,送水(营养快线)三兄弟上场,关羽(头巾),刘备(墨镜),张飞(不停打嗝)刘:饭后一支烟,赛过活神仙Acigerateafterdinnerplaysanimportantroleinmylife.(伸手,张飞点烟,刘深吸一口,长舒一口气)刘:嗯?没点着En?Itdosen’tburnon.张飞:凑合着吧,老师不让抽烟Sorry,wecanonlyhasthis.Wecan’tsmokeintheclassroom!关羽:此番前来,定要邀请的卧龙先生WemustinviteMr.ZhuGeliang!张飞:必须的,老曹太欺负人了Certainly,Mr.Caobullyustoomuch.三人来到门前,石头剪子布刘备:Accordingtoourcustom?关羽:OK.张飞:Noproblem.刘备三人进行石头剪子布,刘备输了,其余两人把刘备推到前面。刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态,(上海滩响起)刘备作按门铃状,(门铃声响起)。诸葛亮:Buliang(不亮),gotoopenthedoor.仆人:Heng!(哼)仆人板着个脸到了门口,做了一个甩头的动作,并呼啦呼啦头发,然后深呼吸,放平稳,保持微笑。然后打开门,举了个躬。仆人:안안안안안(发音anihasaiyao~~~,中文意思:你好)刘备:CanyouspeakEnglish?关羽:(紧接着刘备)CanyouspeakChinese?张飞:(紧接着)CanyouspeakJapanese?刘备:(紧接着)Spanish?关羽:(紧接着)Congolese?张飞:(紧接着)Egyptian?仆人:(紧接着)Shutup!Whoareyoupeople?刘备:(摆个pose)I’mLiubei.关羽:(也摆个pose)I’mGuanyu.张飞:(同样摆个pose,把关羽碰倒了)I’mSorry.刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。猪不亮:你们怎么来的啊Whatdoyouthreetaketocomehere?张飞:骑马来的啊,做骑马状Ridingahorse,ofcourse.猪不亮:那你们怎么骑马来的啊?So,Howdoyouridingahorse?三人面面相觑,猪不亮关门刘备突然明白了,“money!!”张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱,下台第二幕三兄弟上台,张飞关羽手提礼品关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧,上次也怨我们Ithinkwe’llmanageitthistime.张飞:啥啊,如果你不是拉着我,老子一嗓子吼死他(做咆哮状,老虎声音)What?Ifyoudon’tpullme,Iwilleasilykillhimwithmystrongthroat!刘备:行了,行了,我们来干啥来了稍息。。。立正。。。(张飞关羽照做)Stop,stop,Whatarewedoinghere?Atease!—Attention!刘备:都给我机灵点(张飞关羽点头答应)Youthree!Becleverthistime!屋子中……(英文歌,诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒,猪不亮哼着英语歌,他两个喝醉了)诸葛亮:MYGOD!!上天你为什么这么惩罚我MyGod!!Whydoyoupunishme?!猪不亮:老大别难过,班长杨超不也没过吗Don’tbesad,myboss.AsIknow,ourmonitordoes’tpasstheexamination.诸葛亮:我的四级考试啊,开始哭...What?ourmonitordoes’tpasstheexamination?But,MyEnglishcetband4alsolosed···(换背景音乐,猪不亮跟着哭,门铃响,猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门)猪不亮:谁啊Who’sthis?张飞:收水费的Icomeheretochargethebillofelectricity(开门,三人一脸嬉笑)刘备:我们又来了,麻烦小弟通报一下Wearehereagain,bothertonoticeyourboss.(猪不亮四下环顾,把礼品接过来了)(屋子里传来悲伤的气息,张飞和关羽抹眼泪)张飞:怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头(自言自语)Ijustfeelsomefeelingofsorrowinmyheart..关羽:请问卧龙先生在家吗,我们想见一下(SEE)IsMrZhu...