2012届高考英语考前冲刺精品复习讲义（北师大版）：写作（十八）李民对电脑很感兴趣。上个月父母为他买了一台电脑。现在他已学会如何操作。他可以利用电脑做很多事。学生习作·外教批改LiMingisverymuchinterestedincomputers1.Tohisjoy，hisparentsboughthimoneon2forher3hisbirthdaylastweekandhecouldn’twaittolearn4howtooperateit.The5computerhaschangedLiMing’slifea_lot6asitcanprocesses7informationquicklyandefficiently.Forexample，bysurfingtheInternet，hecanbeinformed8ofwhatishappeningintheworldanytime.Shoppingonlineiseasyandtime_saving9savestime.Insteadofgoingtoshops,hejustsitsinfrontofthescreenandplacesanorderforwhathewantstobuy.Awidechoiceofgoods10helpshimtomakeabetterpurchase.AlsoheoftendoesresearchontheInternetfortheinformationheneedsforhispaperschoolwork.Duringthehisleisuretime，computers11gamesandmovieshelpLiMingrelaxandbringhimfun12enjoyment.In_a_word13，thecomputerhelpsLiMingalotinmanyways.旁批1．泛泛谈论一类事物时，可数名词应该用复数形式，不带冠词a或the。2．正确的用法是：buysomethingforsomeone。3．不要改变所谈论对象的性别。4．这个短语用得很好！5．这里特指那台电脑，是李民的父母为他买的那台。因此，需要用定冠词the。6．如果将alot换作dramatically，语气更强。7．can等情态动词之后必须接动词原形。8．这里被动态用得很好！9．原句表达不恰当，参见改写后的句子。10．单词goods指商品，一般为复数，所以应加s。11．本句中computer是名词作定语，不要用复数形式。12．正确的说法是havefun或sb.bebroughtenjoyment。13．这个说法比较老套，尽量不要用，可以用Inconclusion。用心爱心专心1这是一篇尚好的作文。作者写出了题目要求的内容，正确运用了多种句型，列举了一些很好的使用计算机的实例，并且词汇量很大，贴近主题。要进一步提高本篇作文的水平，作者需要更好地理解所选词汇的准确内涵。记住：英语的词汇是所有语言中最多的，有许多词的含义非常特别，只能用于特定的上下文之中。例如，fun和enjoyment的含义非常相近，但用法却截然不同。高分作文秘诀之十一：句子结构要多样化。例如：Insteadof(不要说：)Thereisateachingbuildingontheleftsideoftheschool.Thereisalibraryontheright.Initthereareallkindsofbooks，newspapersandmagazines.Thereisanewplaygroundinfrontoftheschool.Use(要说：)Enteringtheschool，you’llfindateachingbuildingonitsleftside.Thereisalibrarystandingontheright，inwhichbooks，newspapersandmagazinesarestored.Infrontoftheschoolliesanewplayground.Insteadof(不要说：)IreceivedyourletterwhichwaswrittenonAugust15ththismorning.Use(要说：)YourletterofAugust15threachedmethismorning.Insteadof(不要说：)Weweregladtoseecropsandvegetablesgrowingwell.Use(要说：)Howgladweweretoseecropsandvegetablesgrowingwell.WriteanEnglishcompositioninabout100to120words，accordingtothepointsgiveninChinese.1．爷爷送我电脑；2．决心学好电脑，答谢爷爷；3．有志成为电脑专家。________________________________________________________________________参考范文：Ihavegotacomputerofmyownatlast.Itisapresentfrommygrandfather.Heknowstheworldsituationclearly.Hesaysthatusingacomputerisamustinthemodernworld.WhenhelearnedthatIwasinterestedinthemachinebutIdidnothaveone,heimmediatelytoldmethathewouldoffermeone.Nowwiththemachineinfront,Ifeelgratefultomygrandfather.IpromisehimthatI用心爱心专心2willdomybesttoacquiretheknowledgeandskillsothatIcanmakegooduseofit.Iwillnotonlylearnhowtooperatethecomputer,butalsomakeprogrammesonit.Ifpossible,IwilllearncomputerscienceintheuniversitysothatIwillbecomeacomputerspecialist.I’msuremygrandfatherwillbeveryhappywhenmydreamcomestrue.用心爱心专心3
