第1页共7页编号：时间：2021年x月x日书山有路勤为径，学海无涯苦作舟页码：第1页共7页美国著名脱口秀主持人柯南·奥布莱恩为2011年达特茅斯学院做了毕业致辞。前半部分有很多搞笑串场，后半部分柯南跟大家分享了自己的经历和人生经验：正是那些既定想法的失败，才使我们成为独一无二的人！以下是演讲全文：I'vebeenlivinginLosAngelesfortwoyears,andI'veneverbeenthiscoldinmylife.Iwillpayanyonehere$300forGORE-TEXgloves.Anybody.I'mserious.Ihavethecash.BeforeIbegin,ImustpointoutthatbehindmesitsahighlyadmiredPresidentoftheUnitedStatesanddecoratedwarherowhileI,acabletelevisiontalkshowhost,hasbeenchosentostandhereandimpartwisdom.IprayIneverwitnessamoredamningexampleofwhatiswrongwithAmericatoday.Graduates,faculty,parents,relatives,undergraduates,andoldpeoplethatjustcometothesethings:GoodmorningandcongratulationstotheDartmouthClassof2011.Today,youhaveachievedsomethingspecial,somethingonly92percentofAmericansyouragewilleverknow:acollegediploma.That’sright,withyourcollegediplomayounowhaveacrushingadvantageover8percentoftheworkforce.I'mtalkingaboutdropoutloserslikeBillGates,SteveJobs,andMarkZuckerberg.Incidentally,speakingofMr.Zuckerberg,onlyatHarvardwouldsomeonehavetoinventamassivesocialnetworkjusttotalkwithsomeoneinthenextroom.Myfirstjobasyourcommencementspeakeristoillustratethatlifeisnotfair.Forexample,youhaveworkedtirelesslyforfouryearstoearnthediplomayou’llbereceivingthisweekend.Thatwasgreat.AndDartmouthisgivingmethesamedegreeforinterviewingthefourthleadinTwilight.Dealwithit.Anotherexamplethatlifeisnotfair:ifitdoesrain,thepowerfulrichpeopleonstagegetthetent.Dealwithit.IwouldliketothankPresidentKimforinvitingmeheretoday.AftermyphonecallwithPresidentKim,Idecidedtofindoutalittlebitabouttheman.HegoesbyPresidentKimandDr.Kim.Tohisfriends,he'sJimKim,JtotheK,SpecialK,JKRowling,theJustKiddingKimster,andmostpuzzling,"StinkyPete."HeservedasthechairoftheDepartmentofGlobalHealthandSocialMedicineatHarvardMedicalSchool,spearheadedataskforcefortheWorldHealthOrganizationonGlobalHealthInitiatives,wonaMacArthurGeniusGrant,andwasoneofTIMEMagazine's100MostInfluentialPeoplein2006.GoodGod,man,whatthehellareyoucompensatingfor?Seriously.Wegetit.You'resmart.BythewayDr.Kim,youwerebroughttoDartmouthtolead,andasaworld-classanthropologist,youwerealsohiredtofigureoutwhyeachofthesegraduatingstudentsranaroundabonfire111times.第2页共7页第1页共7页编号：时间：2021年x月x日书山有路勤为径，学海无涯苦作舟页码：第2页共7页ButIthankyouforinvitingmehere,StinkyPete,anditisanhonor.Thoughsomeofyoumayseemeasacelebrity,youshouldknowthatIoncesatwhereyousit.Literally.LatelastnightIsnuckouthereandsatineveryseat.Ididittoproveapoint:IamnotbrightandIhavealotoffreetime.ButthisisawonderfuloccasionanditisgreattobehereinNewHampshire,whereIamgettinganhonorarydegreeandallthelegalfireworksIcanfitinthetrunkofmycar.Youknow,NewHampshireissuchaspecialplace.WhenIarrivedItookadeepbreathofthiscrispNewEnglandairandthought,"Wow,I'minthestatethat'snexttothestatewhereBenandJerry'sicecreamismade."Butdon'tgetmewrong,Itakemytasktodayveryseriously.WhenIgotthecalltwomonthsagotobeyourspeaker,Idecidedtopreparewiththesameintensitymanyofyouhavedevotedtoanimportanttermpaper.Solatelastnight,Ibegan.IdranktwocansofRedBull,snortedsomeAdderall,playedafewhoursofCallofDuty,andthenopenedmybrowser.IthinkWikipediaputitbestwhentheysaid"DartmouthCollegeisaprivateIvyLeagueUniversityinHanover,Ne...
