英语学习：幽默故事中英文对照VIP专享VIP免费

英语幽默小故事集锦约会WhentheyoungwaitressinthecaféinTom'sbuildingstartedwavinghelloeveryday.Tomwasflattered,forshewasatleast15yearsyoungerthanhe.OnedayshewavedandbeckonedtoTomagain.WhenTomstrolledover,sheasked,"Areyousingle?""Why,yes,"Tomreplied,smilingatherbroadly."Soismymom,"shesaid."Wouldyouliketomeether?"约会在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？”“对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。“我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？”TakenforGrantedTHESCHOOLHEALTHFORMShadbeendistributedtothestudentswithanerror---theword"Sex"hadbeenspelledwithan"o".Onemother,fillingouttheformforherson,wroteintheblanknextto"Sox":"Usuallybrown."理所当然某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字——把“性别”的“性”字写成了“袜”字。一位母亲在为她的儿子填写表格时，在“袜别”的那栏填上了：“棕色为主。”[注]英语中sex（性）与sox（袜）只有一个字母之差。世界上最爱你的女人Whichwoman?OneeveningIdrovemyhusband'scartotheshoppingmall.Onmyreturn,Inoticedthathowdustytheoutsideofhiscarwasandcleaneditupabit.WhenIfinallyenteredthehouse,Icalledout."Thewomanwholovesyouthemostintheworldjustcleanedyourheadlightsandwindshield."Myhusbandlookedupandsaid,"Mom'shere?"哪一位女人？一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”一只小猫MrsBrownwenttovisitoneofherfriendandcarriedasmallboxwithholespunchedinthetop."What'sinyourbox?"askedthefriend."Acat,"answeredMrsBrown."YouseeI'vebeendreamingaboutmiceatnightandI'msoscared!Thiscatistocatchthem.""Butthemiceareonlyimaginary,"saidthefriend."Soisthecat,"whisperedMrsBrown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。MyWifeWillExchangeThemTomorrowMyWifeWillExchangeThemTomorrow.Agentlemanwalksintoastoreandaskedforapairofgloves."Clothofleather?"askedthesalesperson."Makesnodifference,"repliedcustomer."Whatcolor?"askedtheclerk."Any,"heresponded."Size?""Givemewhateveryouprefer,"thegentlemansaid,slightlyexasperated."Mywifewillbebacktomorrowtoexchangethem."反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买付手套。“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。“号码呢？”“您就随便给我拿一付吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”