简单的英语幽默小故事1Mr.Joneshadafewdays’holiday,sohesaid,“I’mgoingtogotothemountainsbytrain.”Heputonhisbestclothes,tookasmallbag,wenttothestationandgotonthetrain.Hehadabeautifulhat,andheoftenputhisheadoutofthewindowduringthetripandlookedatthemountains.Butthewindpulledhishatoff.Mr.Jonesquicklytookhisoldbagandthrewthatoutofthewindowtoo.Theotherpeopleinthecarriagelaughed.“Isyourbaggoingtobringyourbeautifulhatback?”theyasked.“No,”Mr.Jonesanswered,“butthere’snonameandnoaddressinmyhat,andthere’sanameandaddressonthebag.Someone’sgoingtofindbothofthemneareachother,andhe’sgoingtosendmethebagandthehat.”2AnoldladywentoutshoppinglastTuesday.Shecametoabankandsawacarnearthedoor.Amangotoutofitandwentintothebank.Shelookedintothecar.Thekeyswereinthelock.Theoldladytookthekeysandfollowedthemanintothebank.Themantookagunoutofhispocketandsaidtotheclerk,“Givemeallthemoney.”Buttheoldladydidnotseethis.Shewenttotheman,putthekeysinhishandandsaid,“Youngman,you’restupid!Neverleaveyourkeysinyourcar:someone’sgoingtostealit!”Themanlookedattheoldwomanforafewseconds.Thenhelookedattheclerk—andthenhetookhiskeys,ranoutofthebank,gotintohiscaranddroveawayquickly,withoutanymoney.3MarywasanEnglishgirl,butshelivedinRome.Shewassixyearsold.Lastyearhermothersaidtoher,“You’resixyearsoldnow,Mary,andyou’regoingtobegingoingtoaschoolhere.You’regoingtolikeitverymuch,becauseit’saniceschool.”“IsitanEnglishschool?”Maryasked.“Yes,itis,”hermothersaid.Marywenttotheschool,andenjoyedherlessons.Hermotheralwaystookhertoschoolinthemorningandbroughtherhomeintheafternoon.LastMondayhermotherwenttotheschoolat4o’clock,andMaryranoutofherclass.“We’vegotanewgirlinourclasstoday,Mummy,”shesaid.“She’ssixyearsoldtoo,andshe’sverynice,butsheisn’tEnglish.She’sGerman.”“DoesshespeakEnglish?”Mary’smotherasked.“No,butshelaughsinEnglish,”Marysaidhappily.4Mrs.Jonesdidnothaveahusband,butshehadtwosons.Theywerebig,strongboys,buttheywerelazy.OnSaturdaystheydidnotgotoschool,andthentheirmotheralwayssaid,“Pleasecutthegrassinthegardenthisafternoon,boys.”Theboysdidnotlikeit,buttheyalwaysdidit.Thensomebodygaveoneoftheboysamagazine,andtheysawapictureofabeautifullawn-mowerinit.Therewasaseatonit,andtherewasawomanontheseat.Theboytookthepicturetohismotherandbrotherandsaidtothem,“Look,thatwoman’ssittingonthelawn-moweranddrivingitandcuttingthegrass.Wewantoneofthose.”“Oneofthoselawn-mowers?”hismotherasked.“No,”theboysaid.“Wewantoneofthosewomen.Thenshecancutgrasseveryweek.”5OneofHarry’sfeetwasbiggerandtheother.“Icanneverfindbootsandshoesformyfeet,”hesaidtohisfriendDick.“Whydon’tyougotoashoemaker?”Dicksaid.“Agoodonecanmakeyoutherightshoes.”“I’veneverbeentoashoemaker,”Harrysaid.“Aren’ttheyveryexpensive?”“No,”Dicksaid,“someofthemaren’t.There’sagoodoneinourvillage,andhe’squitecheap.Here’shisaddress.”HewrotesomethingonapieceofpaperandgaveittoHarry.HarrywenttotheshoemakerinDick’svillageafewdayslater,andtheshoemakermadehimsomeshoes.Harrywenttotheshopagainaweeklaterandlookedattheshoes.Thenhesaidtotheshoemakerangrily,“You’reasillyman!Isaid,‘Makeoneshoebiggerthantheother,’butyou’vemadeonesmallerthantheother!”6Mr.Joneshadafewdays’holiday,sohesaid,“I’mgoingtogotothemountainsbytrain.”Heputonhisbestclothes,tookasmallbag,wenttothestationandgotonthetrain.Hehadabeautifulhat,andheoftenputhisheadoutofthewindowduringthetripandlookedatthemountains.Butthewindpulledhishatoff.Mr.Jonesquicklytookhisoldbagandthrewthatoutofthewindowtoo.Theotherpeopleinthecarriagelaughed.“Isyourbaggoingtobringyourbeautifulhatback?”theyasked.“No,”Mr.Jonesanswered,“butthere’snonameandnoaddressinmyhat,andthere’sanameandaddressonthebag.Someone’sgoingtofindbothofthemneareachother,andhe’sgoingtosendmethebagandthehat.”
