英语新概念教学材料VIP免费

JokeA Woman in the barA woman in the bar wants to do the plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.” The lady asks, “How do I do it without surgery?” “ Just rub toilet paper between them.” “ How dose that make them bigger?” “ I don’t know, but it worked for your ass!”————新概念英语二册 barHairdresserHairdresser: “Did you have ketchup with your lunch, sir?”Custom: “No I didn’t . ”Hairdresser: “In that case（既然如此）, I have slipped with the razor.”___________新概念三册 case.A: Lend me fiftyB: I have only fortyA: Well, then let me have the forty and you can owe me the ten._____新概念二册 L3 Examining the X ray, the doctor said, “Not a thing to worry about. You should lived to be ninety.”“But Doctor,” the patient said, “I am ninety.” “See? I was right!” the doctor said. _______新概念一册 L103 exam 或者是 L63 看病Young Woman: Look! Here is a magazine that tells how to take five years off your face.Old Woman: Good! I’ll take two of them. _______新概念一册 L127 讨论年龄问题作为背景笑话RequestA murderer, sitting in the electric chair, would be killed. “Have you any last requests?” asked the policeman. “Yes,” replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand?” _______新概念二册 Lesson 5 request One businessman asked another, “Is your advertising getting results?” “It sure is,” replied his friend. “Last week we advertised for a night guard. The next night we were robbed.” ________Lesson 7 guard and robBoxerDuring the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but couldn’t hit his opponent. “How am I doing?” he asked his coach at the end of the round. “Well, if...