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书面表达评讲假设你叫李华，你班同学参加了“二十一世纪中学生英文报”组织的一场讨论。讨论的主题是：城市内是否可以豢养宠物（狗和猫）。请你根据下表所提供的信息，给报社投稿，介绍讨论情况，并说明自己的观点或建议。反对饲养宠物的同学认为：支持饲养宠物的同学认为：1.造成环境污染2.吵闹声，甚至伤人1.安慰孤寡老人2.人与动物和谐相处，增添生活情趣写作步骤：一、审题。二、语言组织。三、检查修改。一、审题1.审主题2.审人称3.审时态4.审要点5.审框架1.审主题：城市内是否可以豢养宠物（狗和猫）2.审人称：给报社投稿，介绍讨论情况，并说明自己的观点或建议。故人称为第一人称和第三人称。3.审时态：一般过去现在时为主，其它时态为辅。二、语言组织：1.选词组织要点。2.扩词成句。3.整理成篇。→ontheway/aroundthecorner.Theexamiscoming.Nowadays,peoplethinkgratefulnessisveryimportant.→beofgreatimportance/attachgreatimportanceto一、使用较高级的词汇短语优先ItoccurredtothatIshouldbegratefultolifeinsteadofcomplainingaboutit.IthinkthatIshouldn’tcomplainaboutmylifebutbegratefultolife弃旧取新Ibegantorealizedtheimportanceofgratefulness.Icametobeawareofhowimportantgratefulnessis.倒装是一种简单易行提亮句子的方法。Ididn’trealizeditsimportanceuntilIwasinspired….→NotuntilIwasinspired….didIrealizeditsimportance.Wecanbuildupaharmonioussocietyonlyinthisway.→Onlyinthiswaycanwebuildupaharmonioussociety.Anoldwomancameontothebus.→Ontothebuscameanoldwoman.陈述不如倒装妙适当使用被动语态，会呈现句型的变化，使句子表达地道丰富。Webelievethatitisparentsdutytobringusup,giveusloveandeducateus.Itisbelievedthatitisparents’dutyto…...主动不如被动巧从句在很多情况下可变成分词结构或省略句，这会是文章中更大的亮点。WhenIseehisbittersmile,IsuddenlyrealizedhowluckyIwas.SeeingWhenitiscomparedwithothercartoons,TheWolfandtheSheepismoreinteresting.C从句不如分词傲ExpressionsExpressionsononehand,ontheotherhandasaresultoflastbutnotleastAsfarasI’mconcerned…Itisnecessaryforsb.todosth.besupposedtodosth.onthecontraryExpressionsExpressionsliveinharmonywithpeopleareconvincedthat…keepsb.companytakeactiontomakethingsevenworse1.Opinionsvaryfrompersontoperson.（纪湖蓉）2.Opinionsaredividedonthismatter.3.Differentpeoplehavedifferentopinions.4.What’smore,itislikelythatpetswillattackpeople.（陈蔚）5.Onlyinthiswaycanweachievethebalancebetweenpetsandpeopleincities.（袁旻旻）6.Thereasonsareasfollows,foronething…foranother…（侯倩倩）7.Wearesupposedtotakecontrolofourpets,incasetheyattackothers.(吴晓晗）8.WhatIwillchooseisdefinitelytheformer.(蒋演）9.Peopleliveinharmonywithpets,whichmakeslifemorecolorful.(宗媛媛）逻辑角度合适的过渡性词汇时间顺序first,second,then,finally/atlast,soon,immediately,suddenly空间顺序here,there,ononeside…ontheotherside,infrontof,atthebackof,nextto对称顺序foronething,fortheotherthing,ononehand,ontheotherhand转折顺序but,however,while,though,otherwise因果顺序because,since,as,thanksto,asaresult(of)，owingto,dueto条件顺序aslongas,solongas,onconditionthat,if,unless让步顺序though,as,evenif/though,whether,who(what,when,where)ever递进顺序what’smore,besides,tomakethematterworse,what’sworse表示总结inaword,altogether,allinall,ingeneral,tosumup,inconclusion三、检查修改：①、检查单词拼写、标点符号等。②、检查要点是否遗漏。③、检查句子结构是否正确。④、估计字数是否符合要求。OnepossibleversionOnepossibleversionRecentlywehavehadadiscussiononwhetherpeopleshouldkeeppetsathomeincities.Somestudentsthinkitagoodideatokeeppetsbecausemanyoldpeoplewholivealoneathomecangetsomecomfortfrompets.Besides,gettingalongwellwithanimalswillmakeourlifeinteresting.Onthecontrary,theotherstudentsareagainsttheidea.Intheiropinion,iftoomanypeoplekeeppetsathome,itisbadfortheenvironment.What’sworse,petsmaymaketoomuchnoiseandevenattackpeople.Ilikeanimals,soIdon’tthinkit’sbadtokeeppetsathome.Butwemusttakesomemeasurestopreventthemfrompollutingourenvironment.Yourssincerely,LiHuaWhatshouldyoudoifyouwanttowriteagoodcomposition?第一步认真审题(analyzetherequirements）第二步谋篇布局(drawupanoutline)第三步联句成篇(organizethesentences)第四步锦上添花(getthearticlepolishedup)第五步查漏补缺(checkthemistakes)抄阅读文章中的句子;不知所云.得分为0分语言素质欠缺;基本功差;语句毛病多;大小写;标点符号;书写不清等等;得5分.卷面不整洁;涂改较多;语言错误多;层次不清;得8分语言不地道;中文式思维;词汇错误;卷面有涂改;得17分.有少许语言错误;得21分