天水讲座五：初稿评改课案例分析VIP免费

作文：下面是 Han Mei 的日常活动时间表，根据表格中提供的信息，完成 Han Mei 写给她的美国朋友 Lily 的信，不少于 80 个词。6:00get up6:45--7:50learn by oneself8:05--11:45have classes11:45--12:30lunch13:20--17:00have classes18:00--19:00supper19:00--23:00homework关于初稿评改体裁内容人称时态修改建议 1 ：请从审题基本要素方面检查你的文章是否符合题意！ Dear Jane, It’s Tuesday, November 11. I’m really busy! At 8:00 I have math. I don’t like math. Then at 9:00 I have science. It’s difficult, but interesting. Next, at 10:00, I have art. It’s boring, but at 11:00 I have P.E. That’s my favorite subject! I eat lunch at 12:00. after lunch, I have music. Music is relaxing. I like my music teacher, Mr Cooper. He’s fun. My last class is at 2:00. After class I have volleyball for two hours. Our teacher is very strict and I’m usually very tired after class. Then I have Chinese history club. It’s really interesting! Love, Lin Mei请你谈谈此文章哪些方面值得我们学习！ nextthenAfter …修改建议 2 ：请在你的文章中用上这些表示时间顺序的词，使你的文章更加有整体感！Words or phrases for orderfirstlaterAt lastIn the end… At 8:00 I have math.修改建议 3 ：请查看你的文章中这些基础表达是否正确！如何表达： 6:45—7:50 learn by oneself?I learn by myself from 6:45 to 7:50. 6:00Get up6:45--7:50Learn by oneself8:05--11:45Have classes11:45--12:30Lunch13:20--17:00Have classes18:00--19:00Supper19:00--23:00homeworkIs it a good choice for us to use “from…to” for 6 times in an article? Expressions instead of“From…to… （时间）”starts at…and ends at……lasts for…There are… hours for us to…… do sth. until…修改建议 4 ：请你在仔细琢磨的基础上 ,选择更多的表达来代替 from…to… 来实现句式多样化。8:05--11:45Have classes… 教师建议：图表类作文，须分析图表，归纳主题。6:00Get up6:45--7:50Learn by oneself8:0...